The Mindful Dad
The Mindful Dad Podcast is where modern fathers come to reconnect—with themselves, their children, and what truly matters.
I’m your host, Odeani McBean, a mindful fatherhood coach and creator of the 365 Dad Journal. This show is for dads who want to break free from outdated parenting norms and lead with heart, presence, and purpose.
Each week, we dive into the deeper layers of fatherhood, exploring mindfulness, emotional intelligence, spiritual growth, and self-awareness. From letting go of control to healing childhood wounds, we cover the real stuff that helps you show up fully—not just as a dad, but as your highest self.
Expect practical tips, thought-provoking reflections, and honest conversations about what it really means to be a conscious, connected father in today’s world.
Whether you’re balancing a 9-to-5, side gigs, full blown entrepreneurship, or navigating the highs and lows of fatherhood, this podcast will help you slow down, breathe deeper, and parent with more presence and intention.
Because mindful dads don’t just raise better kids—they become better men.
🎧 New episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe and start your mindful fatherhood journey today.
The Mindful Dad
Father and Son: An Unfiltered Conversation
Odeani and his 13 Year Old son Kaleb have an honest, unfiltered conversation about their father-son journey, exploring what makes their relationship work, and navigating emotions.
Key Moments
• Kaleb appreciates his father's empathy and ability to understand his experiences rather than just sympathizing
• Odeani values Caleb's resilience through co-parenting arrangements and his role as a loving big brother
• Basketball creates a special bond between them that goes beyond simple parent-child activities
• They discuss pet peeves including Odeani's embarrassing pre-game shoutouts and rules about AirPods during family time
• Kaleb reveals how his father's willingness to apologize teaches him important lessons about emotional growth
• They explore the different rules between households
• Kaleb connects with his best friend partly because they both understand the unique dynamics of co-parenting
• The conversation concludes with spiritual advice about identity beyond physical and mental limitations
Thanks for tuning in today. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 5AM EST — so if something in this conversation resonated with you or helped you breathe a little deeper into your role as a dad, be sure to follow or subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming next.
And if you’re feeling generous, leaving a quick rating or review helps more conscious fathers find this space — and reminds the algorithm that mindful parenting matters too.
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Daddy, daddy, dad, self-reflection the best gift that you can give someone Is a gift that will allow them to look inward. Mindfulness. Look at my head, it's so big. Wait, do your routine, though. Remember to breathe. Strengthening relationships.
Speaker 2:I do you do, I do.
Speaker 1:Community building. I thought about all the dads who must be going through what I'm going through. Welcome to the Mindful Dad Podcast. I'm your host, odini McBean Entrepreneur, devoted father of two and a fellow dad figuring this all out, just like you. This is the space where modern dads like you explore what it really means to lead with heart, presence and purpose. Each week, we dive into the deeper side of fatherhood mindfulness, self-awareness, emotional connection and how to show up fully, not just as a dad, but as your highest self. So take a deep breath, slow down and let's explore the path of mindful fatherhood together. Happy Tuesday, family.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of the Mindful Dad podcast. I'm your host, odini McBean, and wow, am I beyond excited for today's episode. We have our first guest episode and it is so fitting that it is none other than my son, Kaleb McBean. I'll have Kaleb the one and only introduce himself shortly, but today we're just going to go into a open flow of son and dad conversation. Going to go into a open flow of son and dad conversation. I'm anticipating that it will be hilarious, but I'm also anticipating that it will be raw, authentic.
Speaker 1:And this is funny because I come on here every week and I speak about my growth and fatherhood and we love his little sister, my daughter, but she's three years old, so she is slowly experiencing the growth. But I always talk about Kaleb when it comes to the growth a lot, because you know of his age and he's been around for a lot of my ups, my downs, my flaws, so he is the perfect child to have this conversation with and I'm sure as Kenley gets older, I'll have her on the podcast and she'll share her beautiful experiences as well. So, like I said, today we're just going to jump straight into a casual conversation. We're going to talk about some emotional stuff. We're going to talk about the ups and downs of our journey as son and dad, and I think it's going to be just a great conversation for all of you dads out there to listen to. Before we go any further, I'll have Kaleb introduce himself and, yeah, we're just going to get started with some open and honest conversation and questions.
Speaker 2:What's good guys?
Speaker 1:That's all you got to say is what's good, guys, he's a little. He's a little nervous, but we'll get in. I'm sure as we get into the questions he'll warm up here, all right. So, Kaleb, the first question that we're going to ask is we're going to take our time with this. So what's your favorite thing about our relationship? What's your favorite thing about me being your dad?
Speaker 2:I think as you changed your understanding, like if I got in trouble in school, you would understand and you could relate to it and you would be more of an empathetic person, not a sympathetic person like relating to it. So I'd say your understanding towards the adversity I face.
Speaker 1:Okay. So basically, I've been a little more understanding. You would say a little more empathetic Okay, that's great. So I'm going to flip it around.
Speaker 1:So I would say my favorite part about being your dad is the fact that I see a lot of resilience in you. I love that. I love that you especially when we you know, we always talk about basketball a lot, but in life in general, you are a child that you're being co-parented, right. So you live one place here and then the other half the month you live somewhere else. You're with this person and then you're with this person, and that's been happening to you since you were about one years old.
Speaker 1:And I think a lot of children kind of buckle under that that, because they miss their mom, they miss their dad and they take their frustration out on the world, especially in school. And, if I'm being honest, you had moments when you were younger that you were not the most well-behaved child in school and I think, knowing all that I know now about the work I do, I'm sure that it was because of the back and forth you were doing. But I say all that to say, man, you have come a long way when it comes to just how you show up in the world and your mom and I are very proud of you for that, about being your dad is just watching how you persevere. You're very resilient kid, from surgeries to injuries to being in two homes for basically all your life. It's not. It doesn't feel stable, I'm sure, but I think you do a good job of just being who you are showing up for people and just being a sweet kid.
Speaker 1:And another thing is I love to see you with your little sister. You are by far the best big brother to her and I'm sure she's going to love, just continue to love on you. And other than that, you know how it is, man. We play 2K together. I love that. I can play NBA 2K with you, madden with you, we hoop together. But if we're just to keep it short here, I would say I just love to see your growth, how you go through adversity. You're resilient, and I just love to see you being a big brother. All right. Next question Is there something you've wanted to ask me but you never have? Be real, we're not hiding anything here, so think about that.
Speaker 2:We're not hiding anything here, so think about that. There are some times where I've wanted to like question, like you're saying, on my likeability in basketball, because to me it sounds like you're biased to me. But I've never really asked that, I've just kept silent and I guess keep on working. But that question is still like nagging on my mind Sometimes. Are you biased to me?
Speaker 1:Okay. So you want to know. Do I booze you up and say you're so great only because you're my son? I'm not going to lie. You should know this by now. How many years have we been at this?
Speaker 1:I always talk about this and I always tell you this as a dad, I'm very proud of your ability and your skills and your accomplishments in the sport of basketball. But I also want to say that for years, since you were like second, third, fourth grade, I let everybody else tell me how good you were. Before I was confident enough to tell the world how good you are, some of my friends would see the stuff on Facebook, on Instagram, and they would just be like yo, he is nasty. Like yo, how young. How could he be in the second grade shooting threes like this? How could he be in second grade doing all that? Like they're like yo, he is amazing. And I just always used to just downplay it. I would let other people tell me how good you are because, as a dad, it just feels weird. I always joke about this. It's like when you meet parents, their babies are always so advanced, like I was just taught, like everybody says oh man, my kid is so advanced. My kid is so smart. I'm sure your baby is smart, but everyone says that you know what I mean. Always felt bad if I wanted to booze you up and basketball to other people because they're going to be like, yeah, duh, well, yeah, he's your son. You're supposed to feel that way.
Speaker 1:But to answer your question, it is no bias in me. I'm a basketball purist. How many times you watch people from high school and I say they're going to be amazing and what happens? They're good right? Tyler Hero Did I not call that? That? He was going to be this good, you did. I did call that. Cade Cunningham you did. Paige Beckers you did. The list goes on and on of players that we watch in high school when they were like juniors and I'm like they are going to be elite. And it's because I'm a basketball purist and I just know talent. You just happen to be my son. So, to answer your question, no, it's 100 percent. Just me seeing your potential, me seeing your skills and where you're at now and me having that confidence in your ability. I think sometimes you don't see that in yourself and your mom and I always want you to realize just how special you are. Here's a question.
Speaker 2:This is a question for you to ask me right here. What's something you've taught me without even realizing it?
Speaker 1:So something that I think I've taught you without even realizing it is let's go back to that adversity is just the ability to keep pushing, to be resilient. You have been with me through some rough moments. You have been with me through situations that led me to be very financially I would say, lacking in finances. You have been with me where we had to move back with family. Like you've been with me through a lot. Sometimes at one point I didn't have a car for a few weeks there.
Speaker 1:You've been with me through a lot of my adversity and I think because of my ability to self-reflect, my meditation practices, my ability to surrender and have faith, I think that has led to me have a business where I'm teaching dads how to be mindful, how to be emotional, connected to their children. I have a job at a university that a lot of people would say is one of the most esteemed and recognized places that one could work in higher education. My job there is to walk into a room with the most esteemed professors on the planet in the world, at Princeton, and I'm able to command their respect and I'm able to speak and give write-up documentation and show them how to do something, and I think that says a lot for where I came from and where I am now and I'm still growing. So I think you see all of that and I think it helps you to overcome certain things that you may go through. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2:That's like deep. But I have one question for you and it's kind of like what caused you to change, like your full life, spiritual awakenings and your just behavior and everything?
Speaker 1:Yeah, good question. So what caused me to change is I'm we're just going to be honest here. So people know that I'm a co-parenting dad and people know that I've been through what you would call a custody battle. And I would say, while we were going through that, I felt very alone. I felt like I had no one to support me. I was just in the deepest and darkest moments of my life for like three years straight, and that was my initial crisis. That led me into just wanting to change myself. And this is what people have to understand when you're changing yourself, you don't realize you're actually helping everybody. Right, you're improving your own journey, but by you doing that, you now treat the people you love differently. So that started my whole spiritual journey just wanting to find a way to cope with all I was going through. And then, secondly, is I love my father, but him and I had nowhere of the connection that you and I had, and I wanted to use my dad's relationship to help our relationship. I wanted it to be different. My dad chose to provide. He chose to work instead of being present.
Speaker 1:I played three sports and he rarely ever came to a game, a practice. You play one sport and I make it a mission to come to every single game if I'm physically able to right. I make it a mission to stay at the practices and watch you practice. I could choose to. Last night you had two hours of practice. I could have chosen to drop you off and go hang out for two hours and come back Chose to be in your presence. I chose to support In the last 30 minutes of the two hours I went to go read a spiritual text. So I would say what made me change is my own personal adversity and I would say also just wanting to build a deeper bond with you than the one I had with my dad. I wanted to give you an experience that I never got and just wanted to be way more emotional with you and not parent like the old days.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm like sometimes I don't show it, but I'm actually really appreciative of it. You go into every game. You're there to pick me up if I have a bad game, and sometimes I rely on it and that's why you become a key figure to me, because you are there when I need it, but you're also there when I don't need it, still picking me up when I don't need it still picking me up.
Speaker 1:I remember one time I came to your game and I think it was a few years ago I was late and so I probably missed the first few minutes of the game. And I remember you're probably in the fifth grade and you looked at me and you just gave me this head nod because you realized I was there. And then I remember talking to you about that and you told me that whenever you're playing a game and you look over and you see me, it gives you confidence, right. And ever since that conversation I'm telling you like I try my hardest to be there before tip off because I don't even want you to start the game not seeing me. You know what I mean. I take that serious A lot of the times because of logistical circumstances. Now I'm coming from usually an hour away, so sometimes, based on the nature of things, I may get there a few minutes late. But I really make it an effort to try to get there on time, just so you can have that full confidence of seeing me before tip off.
Speaker 2:I think one of the reasons why you boost my confidence is because when I work out and everything, you're the one that's dealing with that. Like you're the one that sets up my workouts and you're the one that I spend most of my time talking about basketball with. So just seeing you there is like boosting my confidence, because you can understand it, because you used to play ball in high school, middle school and you used to be good at it. So that's why, like, you boost my confidence and I feel like when you're there, you're like the only one that I know of that actually understands the game. And if I do something that people are like what, what is he doing? But you can understand what I'm trying to do and that's why I'm appreciative of it yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:For the record, we have this discussion often. Mom understands the game as well. Mom understands the game very well. I think the difference is between mom and I is because I've played it for so many years. I think I'm able to have a little more grace in all areas, but mom understands the game.
Speaker 2:Stop taking that away from her no, I'm not saying that she doesn't, I'm just saying like on the court, like sometimes she doesn't see stuff. That's like on the court. She can understand, like what's happening, whereas my grandfather and my grandma might not.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, all right. So now we're going to jump into more of a. Going to be honest, now, all right, don't hold back. We're going to jump into more of a. We're going to be honest now. All right, don't hold back. We're going to jump into some triggering stuff, some honesty and some gross stuff, all right. So, Kaleb, what's something that I do that sometimes frustrates you? Oh, here we go.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I feel like this is like slight, but when I had my AirPodsods, you would like, swear to god, you would hate it when I took them out in car or in the or at dinner. When we're like the times when kenley would come, which is my sister, she would you would hate it like. You're like kayla, put that down. As soon as I took out my airpods and you saw them, you're like, hey, Kaleb, let's do one on one off because you wanted to spend time with me. And one on one off is like where we would rotate a song that you'd want to play yeah.
Speaker 1:so it frustrates Kaleb when we're together and I tell him to take his airpods out his ear, because sometimes we'll be at dinner and I'll be in front of him and he'll have his airpods one in one ear and the other off and I'm like no, we need to be present, right, and especially when we're with his little sister. Those are moments because we're not in a traditional family, so those are moments where some families they can be with their sister and their dad and their mom together every single day. We don't have that. So I really like to make the time that we share of quality. So it especially triggers me when you do that with Kenley there, because I want us all to bond. So if we're in the car, there's no need for you to have your AirPods in. We can talk about life. If you want to listen to music, we can listen to music together.
Speaker 1:It's like you're on your separate journey while we're both in the car and that that bothers me. But you know, what's funny about all of this work is that it's not supposed to bother me right now. That's not supposed to, but I am supposed to be able to see that in you and either a honor it or be understand from the depths of my soul. Why does that bother me so much? And I think the difference where I've grown is. I think if I wasn't doing this type of work, when I'm talking to you about that, I'll be yelling like man take your airpod out. But now I think I'm able to express myself to you and why I would want you to not have your airpods in when we're doing certain activities. How do you feel about that? And you were going to say something else yeah, I can agree with that.
Speaker 2:Um, for example and I'm with my friends, especially my best friend, his name's Whip Earl Goes to Vernard's. Shout out to him when we play video games like we could play 2K in the basement.
Speaker 2:It's fun and all just like talking, laughing, trash talking. But I feel like when we actually go places, that's where I have the most fun. For example, last weekend I went I went with him and a couple other members of my family to the American Dream Mall because they were having an Asian food festival, and I had more fun than that, than I was playing a video game, especially at was, since it got so cold out we didn't go on a Saturday one on it's like 50 degrees out with like no sun. We went inside the mall and had fun experiences there. Like we went to a place called Bubble Planet, which was really fun, and I feel like just laughing, talking like outside. Even when we play basketball I find it more fun because it's a better challenge than just playing a video game 1v1ing. I'm still going to enjoy it, but I feel like I would value it and have more fun when I'm actually doing something.
Speaker 1:Okay, so are you saying you so you're just saying you would prefer to be actively doing something rather than being in the home. Is that what you're saying like? With people with people, right, okay. So what does that mean then? Does that mean that's why they got your airpods in, because you just with me?
Speaker 2:nah, it's just like when I'm with my friends and when I'm with my dad it's different. We can go to, for example, I can go to the american dream all with wit and have a good time, but with you we'd do something else, like we'd do, instead of being and I'm fine with this all the time, instead of being like a kid and going to the Dream Mall, we could go to a basketball court, play some horse, and I still have the same amount of fun. It's just with different people I have like different experiences.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally understand that and I'm actually glad that you mentioned that, because I think sometimes when I talk, people may think that I'm just making stuff up, or but I always say that I felt a lot of dad guilt because I'm oftentimes not able to provide certain experiences for Kaleb that the other side of his family does, and so I'm often feeling like I'm less than or like my self-worth as a dad is less than because we haven't been able to go out of the country and do certain things. Because I sometimes feel that way, I often miss those moments that you truly are enjoying the things we do together. So I always tell people how we watch martin and we just on the couch and we just cracking up and we're laughing and you enjoy those moments just as much as you enjoy the grand experiences yeah, like with wit.
Speaker 2:I don't know if he laugh Like maybe he wouldn't understand some of the things that were like being played, but I feel like with you we're alike and you can understand and we share the same fondness and hobbies. You like to play ball, so do I. We have the same favorite flavor for music. You like to watch comedy. I love to watch comedy. But some kids, when they think of comedy, think of like, oh, like, a YouTuber telling jokes over like a video game.
Speaker 2:I think of comedy as people like real life people telling jokes. For example, this morning my dad was showing me this comedian and how he was such a great he could imitate anybody's voice. He did Donald Trump, he did a lot of people, and it was, and me and my dad were cracking up. I don't know if some of my friends would do that, because they just don't have the same humor as me. So I think through that bond we we like we're able to bond more than most of other people, like most other dads, like some dads want to play baseball while the kid wants to play lacrosse. That's why I feel like, since we have the same hobbies, we're able to bond a lot more than other dads and kids usually would.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. Also a good point, because I always, I think because a lot of this happens a lot where you would see basketball players and kids and you could tell that the kid is just doing the thing because the dad wants them to, right, because the mom wants them to you can tell that the kid is not truly enjoying the thing, but they're just doing it to make their parents happy. And I've always told people that obviously your mom and I are big influences because we both love hoops. But I always tell people that Kaleb was sitting on my lap few months old watching Derrick Rose highlights while he had a bib on and that was the only thing that I can do to get him to stop crying.
Speaker 1:I always tell people that basketball was a part of your psyche before you even really even truly knew what basketball was. And that's important for our relationship with the sport, because I never feel like I have to pressure you. There are some moments where I feel like you need to do more, but I've never felt like I needed to beg you to go work out. There were moments I can recall where you were begging me to go work out. So, yeah, good point.
Speaker 2:I think it's also and for some kids they might just hate it more Like when you have both parents that both love watching the game and love playing the game. You're just more open and exposed to more basketball experiences. For example, back during, like at the end of winter, it started to become warm outside. My mom said, hey, you want to go to the blue courts? It's a court near my house and I was like sure, and we had fun doing that, and I think that being around both parents that love the game of basketball makes it easier for me to like the game of basketball. But for other kids it might not, because since they're always pressuring them to do it, but my parents are both open minded about it, so yeah, I understand that All right.
Speaker 1:Do you think that I understand your emotions most of the time?
Speaker 2:For sure. There's some times where, like he knows I'm he knows I'm slighted, like he knows I'm annoyed off of something that he's making me do, like journaling. I, he knows I hate it, like I don't appreciate it as much for the record, I told y'all I'm an honest guy.
Speaker 1:There was an episode for you listeners who are diehard listeners, you can recall me talking about this that I was forcing him to journal until I realized I was just doing that because and this is something we do I'm always going to use something as a teacher moment. Sorry, we force kids do things because we want them to do it right and I just want to for the record.
Speaker 2:I knew this so to go back to point it's, he knows I can get annoyed and sometimes he lets me soak. Other times he tries to make me laugh or and that's what I appreciate about him and there are times where he knows I'm upset and sometimes you argue, but next thing you know, two hours later we could be on the couch watching something and be laughing about it and bonding at the same time. And, for example, this happened a month ago maybe, or two months ago. We were at barnes and nobles and he was my dad loves this book from his childhood experiences called Alex Rider.
Speaker 2:Now when we went to a library a year ago, I wasn't too big on it, like okay, but like I wasn't, like it's not like I'm gonna sit on a couch and read it for hours.
Speaker 2:I wanted to look at a certain selection of books, like either comics, like big nate, and he wanted to buy an alex rider book because he wanted me to read more advanced things, and I'm like I'm just not there for it, like I don't really want to read it, and so we have a big argument about that and I felt like it was the most awkward car ride of my life going back to my mom's house because nobody said a word.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't look anywhere but to the right of the window and we had an argument and I said something that still sticks with me and I said why would you buy it from me if you know I'm not going to read it or enjoy it? Now that I think about it, I'm appreciative of him doing that because, while I might still not enjoy the book, he's still showing me a lesson. He's still showing me that he still cares for me so much he's willing to spend his money on something that I might even pick up. It doesn't have to be something I love that I might find a slight interest in it and he's still thinking about me through that.
Speaker 1:Thanks, son, I appreciate that. Can you remember a time that I got something wrong as your dad, and what would you have wanted me to do instead? Oh yeah, you got one already. He was ready for this one.
Speaker 2:So honestly, this goes back to the other one where I'm being annoyed. Before every game he stopped it. Before every game he's like let's go Six or let's go Bub, like his nickname. For me. I would hate it so much because I'm just being targeted to like 30 other people in the gym and I'm just like dude, shut up please. Then everybody knows oh, oh, wow. Look at the dad, so that I'm not gonna lie, was annoying and then I told him that like it was weird and embarrassing and he learned and he doesn't say it anymore and we just have a more which I appreciate a more chill way of the start of every game, like dapping each other up and he's saying go kill or it's your time.
Speaker 1:Dang. This is so. When I say, when I shut out, let's go six in front of everybody, because that was your number. Now you've changed to number two, which I don't know where that came from. But when I say let's go six out loud, are you worried that other people are watching or hearing me say that? So are you telling me and listen? If this is true, this is something as an adult I'm working with.
Speaker 2:You care a lot about the opinions of other people I think sometimes I do, but I feel like I was just embarrassed and there were times I could be stereotypical, right, like there were times when helping out a lower level team than the a team, say the c team or the b team, and people can tell that I'm decent warming up.
Speaker 2:Now I stereotype too, if I'm being honest, like if we go to a high school game me and my dad had this game of trying to see who's the best player. Bro, I'm not gonna lie we look immediately to the first black person like I'm not, I'm good, good, good, so like I'm like, so like if he's like bro, if they're the dads on the other side, like oh, this dad's already calling out, he's calling out. And if they hear like saying go kill, I mean his dad's black, he has to be athletic. I'm like, oh my God, like we're cooked. And then now everybody knows it because one you can see in warm-ups that I'm pretty good. And the coaches is like, oh, keep an eye on him because he might be the best player.
Speaker 1:And as eye on him because he might be the best player. And as soon as I make the three they're like oh no, here we go. And then they, then I get sent doubles, boxing ones, dude me saying let's go six or let's go bub. Pre-game is not the reason you're getting box in one. You're getting box in one because of your play on the floor.
Speaker 1:But for those who are not basketball fans like that, a box in one is when there are five players on the floor for the offense and five players on the floor for defense, and it's when the defense basically plays a zone.
Speaker 1:But a zone is where each player is responsible for a certain area, but the box in one comes in where four players are responsible for area but one player is just supposed to be responsible for one guy on the other team, and so teams go box in one when they don't really necessarily care about the other players scoring, they just want to stop the one guy. So oftentimes when Kaleb comes out, really hot teams will box and won him and it's frustrating for him because now he can't play as freely because all the attention is placed on him and I don't think me shouting you out pre-game has anything to do with going boxing one, and I don't think this is a platform where I need to correct to say this, but I'm just going to anyway. By no means do I myself or Kaleb think that if you're not black, you're not athletic or good at basketball oh no, I'm not saying I, I listen, I'm gonna let you, I know.
Speaker 1:So what c Kaleb is saying is typically, when we watch high school games, we do have this game where we go between ourselves or we go hey, who do you think is like the best player, especially when it's teams we've never seen before. Oftentimes we go with the guy who is jumping out the gym, handles are out of control and most times that guy tends to be black. I'm just going to be honest out of control and most times that guy tends to be black. We're just going to be honest. But we don't discriminate on who we feel is talented in the sport of basketball. We just want to make that clear, all right. So the next question is what does it feel like when I apologize to you and what does that teach you?
Speaker 2:Honestly, if I'm being real, I don't really feel anything, for the first day even, but it's. I start to feel it when I leave my dad and I'm at my mom's house and when I have time to think about like oh damn, my dad's able to apologize and like sometimes I don't apologize because sometimes I'm wrapped in the moment.
Speaker 1:Did he just say damn, did you just, it's OK, we'll come back?
Speaker 2:Yo wait, so am I not allowed to say it that's fine, go ahead. Um, you just caught me off guard, um, but when?
Speaker 2:you're home with your mom after the apology it you tend to realize it yeah, like even when I'm laying in bed before I go to sleep, I'm like, wow, my dad was able to apologize, something I can't even do. And I feel like sometimes I get annoyed when my dad makes certain rules that my mom doesn't. It is the same way around, but one rule is I'm not allowed to curse except if I'm on the basketball court. Okay, not allowed to curse except if I'm on the basketball court, okay. So I feel like my mom's found with me cursing, like, especially if I stub my toe and I'm like, oh, and then I say a curse word, she's okay with it. Or if I'm with friends, like she doesn't care. But my dad doesn't want me to say a curse word. Now, I don't know if he's okay if I say the word I just said, but I still feel like sometimes I feel annoyed, but sometimes I realize that there's really truly no need to say a curse word. Like I could be with a friend and I saw my toe. I'm like, oh, dang it, okay, that sounds corny. But or I could say, shoot. I remember one time I said like, I said I think a curse word, but I said, oh, I'm so thirsty, I can't remember the one, but I was with my friend's mom and they were shocked. Now it's her me say curse words. But the mom was shocked Because even though I'm allowed to say it I'm pretty sure she knows it I just don't use it.
Speaker 2:Often there are friends that I have, some friends that like curse every day. I don't really curse Like I just sometimes I just don't say anything if I'm frustrated. But I know friends that are spoiled and if they can't have video games they start getting angry and then they start cursing Like oh, my mom or dad, whoever grounded them, it's so annoying seeing like, oh, my mom or dad, whoever grounded them, it's so annoying. And sometimes I couldn't find myself saying that, associating one curse word with my dad or my mom. I just can't find myself saying it. But I feel like we have different views on things.
Speaker 2:When I say curve shirt, I'm not saying it just to say it like. There are times it's only like when, like to me the only time I would use a curse word if I'm playing my dad in 2k and stephan curry, who I'd usually use, misses all of his shots because we're in hall of fame. I'm not the best player in hall of fame, but like I can at least make a couple greens here and there, and I'll be like dang, he's playing so bad or I'm playing so bad, and I would use a curse word in that sentence. There are other times where my dad like allows me to curse on the basketball course, so I'm not going to say that, but there are other times where, like if I stub my toe, like I feel like like I should be allowed to say a curse word.
Speaker 1:So you think you should be allowed to curse if you have physical pain sensations?
Speaker 1:Or something that's not just me cursing like every five seconds, right, okay, yeah, this is Okay. This is part of me that is very stubborn. I'm a Taurus. This is part of me that is very stubborn. I'm a Taurus, so I'm not a fan of the cursing outside of the basketball court, but if I'm being completely honest, when I was 13, I think I was cursing way more than you, but I would never curse in front of my parents and to me. I think that's where I want to draw the line.
Speaker 1:I'm 37 right now and the only time my parents hear me curse is if, by chance, I'm upset at something else and they're just overhear the conversation. There's one time me and my dad got into it, and it was. That was a lot. You were there for that one, but I apologize to my dad and I apologize to you for my actions that day and he apologized to me. But, yeah, I'm just not a fan of the profanity, especially in front of parents. Questions I want to ask you, Kaleb, you know, based off of you having a present and active father in your life but also not just my influence, just your own coming into your own as a young man what kind of dad do you want to be one day?
Speaker 2:You know it's funny, I was having dim sum, a type of lunch with my, a type of Chinese or Asian lunch with my mother, with my type of Chinese or Asian lunch with my mother, grandparents.
Speaker 1:For those of you who don't know, for context, Kaleb is half Jamaican and half Chinese.
Speaker 2:And I remember, like my grandfather said, oh, Kaleb, your mom spoils you so much. Now, I will admit, in that moment I was doubtful because and he taught me something that was true like there's two different types of spoiling. There's the physical spoiling, where you just give your kid every single video game, you give your kid everything. That's what I associate with spoiling. But he also told me there's a different spoiling, like taking, like over, protecting your kid, like taking care, and that's something that, yeah, I would associate my mom with that. So in that way I actually learned, because he asked me the same thing Will you spoil your kids? And I said and my reaction to that, I was kind of shocked, but I'm like not really I would. Like my dad was, I would be like like I would be chill with them, like I would. If you want to go to the court to shoot hoops, I'd be down with that and I'd spend time with them. But as of, but if we're talking about physical spoiling, I would spoil them Not a lot. But if my son or daughter wants a video game that's coming out and like she like really cares about it or he really cares about it and she's like behaving, yeah, I would buy it for her. I don't think that's spoiling because I feel like she's or he is earning it. But if, say, my son is into basketball, like me, and there's a new 2K coming out, I would obviously spend it in the second. He wouldn't have to ask it, because I also love that game too.
Speaker 2:So, to answer the question, I would want to be the parent. I wouldn't want to be the bad cop, but I want to be the parent. That's where my son or daughter would say my dad's amazing. He's so chill. He's not the type of dad that yells at me every single time I get in trouble. He can understand it, which I can, because I used to get in trouble when I was younger and I feel like that's the type of parent I want to be One who's understanding, not sympathetic.
Speaker 2:Empathetic, because there's people use it interchangeably and it's really something else. Like sympathetic is like someone drops a rock on her foot, ow, and I would say are you okay? I hope it feels better. Then empathetic being oh no, are you okay? I hope it feels better than empathetic being oh no, are you okay? When I was younger, I accidentally dropped a rock on my foot and I would tell her, like how you could make it feel better.
Speaker 2:And there's my best friend, whit. What's the difference is? Let me get this straight Most of my friends don't have co-parents, so they're not really empathetic to me, but with his parents co-parent, and so he could understand the stuff that I grow through, go through that nobody else can. And that's why, to me, he's my best friend, because if I'm down and I'm looking to cheer me up, I wouldn't go tell one of my other good friends, carson, about something, because we usually bond just through basketball and video games, which is basically key parts of my life. But I would go to Whit because he can understand the stuff that I would go through and he's been there before, which is why he's empathetic, whereas Carson would just say, oh, I'm sorry, I hope you feel better.
Speaker 1:Wow, Kaleb, that's actually. I never thought about that. I knew that wit was in a similar family dynamic, but I actually had no idea that you put that together. That that's you know, like you can rely on him for emotional support, because he's also in the same type of family dynamic. Wow, good job on that one. All right, so we are going to wrap that. We definitely need a part two, right, I would say so, yeah, we need the next part two.
Speaker 1:We're gonna do experiences okay, yeah, we need a part two for sure. I'm going to wrap this up with one last question for the both of us, and I would say that question is what's one piece of advice that we'd give to each other as dad and son? So I'll let you start what's one piece of advice that you would give me?
Speaker 2:and I'll leave you with one piece of advice, and then I'll have some closing words to the listeners actually I don't really have much advice for you, but I do have a question for you what, what makes you or what like motivation, allows you to tap into your kindness every day, because it can't be hard knowing that all the stuff you've been through and the stuff that you're dealing with currently, I know that there's sometimes where you have to face doubts and I want to know, like, how do you tap into your kindness, understanding empathetic part sometimes?
Speaker 1:Oh man, that's a great question. Thanks for even realizing stuff like that. I would say for me, what keeps me into just kindness and being compassionate, despite of whatever I may be going through in my personal life, with as far as being kind with my children, being kind to a stranger up the street, being kind to my coworkers, my friends, is that the path that I'm on spiritually right now is teaching me that love trumps everything. Right, love is, we are all love. I don't look at people differently than I look at myself. I look at everybody as just this glowing light of source of energy and I know that, no matter what I'm going through, energy and I know that, no matter what I'm going through, if I'm able to be kind and mean it right and really be kind hearted, it will make people feel better. So I would say not to go too deep, but to go somewhat deep is. I look at everybody as just like this, as God. I look at everybody as this light. I look at everybody as this divine presence. And because I look at everybody like that, it's really hard, for I'm not perfect. Obviously, when it comes to stuff like this, we're all uniquely perfect, but I'm flawed. I may not every single day show up that way, but most of the times I truly want to show people that I think they're special, I think they are unique and I think they're all angels, and I'm not going to let my personal lessons in life interfere with that. All right, and I would say, the one piece of advice I would give to you is kind of like the advice I gave you this morning is prior to recording. This is I just want you to know that you are not your body and you're not your mind. You're not your name, you're not your gender. You are something that is far, far, far, much greater and more powerful than that. At your core, you are just this angel, this love, this presence that is unchanging and even after death, what you are will still remain. And if you think like this throughout any type of phase in your life, you will suffer a lot less mentally because you're not going to be identified with your body and your mind. You'll be identified with something much greater and that helps you when you're going through stuff. Wow, we are going to wrap this episode up.
Speaker 1:This was an amazing experience. This is funny because I was going to talk about something completely different. I said Kaleb, I'm going to record my podcast, don't be loud. And he's like, can we do it together? And I'm like, wow, I didn't even think twice about it. I said, yeah, come on. So it's not really scripted, because this was decided on in like two minutes. You know, there were a couple of questions I'm like I think we should ask each other, but for the most part this was just like a casual conversation and I'm happy about it. What was your experience with this? Did you have a good time?
Speaker 2:I had so much fun. I I had so much fun. I'm not going to lie. In the beginning I was nervous, like smiling too hard, but then I realized, as it goes on, like your fears start to like evaporate and I feel like once you realize that I'm just having another conversation with my dad, then that allows you to be like, you can get a confident answer out of yourself and I enjoyed it a lot because we were, we bonded over this and in my dad's opinion and in my opinion it would have been it's better than just playing. What? 55 minutes of video games.
Speaker 1:We just hope everyone enjoyed this episode and would love your feedback on this type of episode. If you want to hear Kaleb thoughts, his experiences, more often, I don't mind us, just because this, these are the talks we have all the time anyway. I think that's what makes this pretty cool is, Kaleb and I have some pretty deep talks, so you know, about emotions, about spirituality, about just life in general. So I think this is cool because it's obvious we're just turning a mic on, but this is not new for us. So if you enjoy Kaleb perspectives and you want to hear more of his side of the fatherhood journey, from his perspective, his lens, we will definitely do this more often, sending you all light, as always. Please share this episode, please rate and review the podcast. And I just want to say, Kaleb, I love you man, seriously, I appreciate you. You are my greatest teacher. I learned so much from you and I appreciate you for being who you are.
Speaker 2:Same goes around because when I'm with you, just you allow me to go through certain things, like if you know that I'm angry, you would give me time to myself and that helps me, like dwell on stuff that I just didn't appreciate that, so I can't wait till the next time I'm gonna be on here, so see you soon see y'all soon.
